Beastmasters

Nothing like a day hanging out with our fellow animals. Last weekend we went up to the Ipswich River Wildlife Sanctuary, mostly to get out of the house and our town and see something--ANYTHING--new.

We hop on the first trail we encounter and right away, 5 deer go trotting past. Very furry deer with longish tails. They didn't look too afraid as they clearly were aware they could easily beat us up.

Further along the trail we met a XC skiier who told us about some beavers she first heard and then saw. We followed her directions in search of a new hat. We saw lots of chewed-off trees, but no beavers. After 15 minutes or so of searching and exploring, one finally popped up through some ice and started chewing on a stick. Orange teeth.

For the grand finale, I found some bird seed on the ground and joked to Grace that I could get a bird to land in my hand and eat some. I was wrong. I got FORTY birds to land in my hand. Grace and Charlie and Alice all took a try and though not AS successful, still got to feed some birds. I think they thought Grace's hand was too clammy.

What a Difference a 150 Years Make

Wife in 1859: Doc just left in his buggy. Charlie has strep and Scarlet Fever.

Husband: I'll go get the shovel.

Wife in 2009: The nurse just called with Charlie's test results. He's got strep and Scarlet Fever.

Husband: Can he go to school tomorrow?

There Goes My Good Night's Sleep

A 42-foot snake weighing more than a ton? Yes, that's just what I needed to hear. Of course I can take solace in the fact that this thing hasn't done any slithering for 58 million years. Which is 57,994,000 years of pure silly-willy nonsense according to Sarah Palin.

Those Sneaky Greenies

Over the past several weeks I've seen a growing number of public voices stating the view that global warming/climate change is pure hokum. Their evidence? Why, they look outside their window and see snow! When they leave their home, they find they need a jacket. Of course, it's winter in the northern hemisphere and those things normally occur, but let's not cloud the issue.

You've got two sides this issue. On one side you have career scientists with advanced degrees who have been studying the earth's climate their entire professional lives. And frankly, they're scared shitless. On the other side, you've got blowhards who stick their thumbs in their own asses and declare their rectal temperature is no warmer than it was ten or twenty or even thirty years ago. A little dustier perhaps, but no warmer.

The thing that really gets me--other than the fact that their pronouncements will influence their audience into doing nothing and helping to seal all our fate--is that they keep insinuating some awful ulterior motive in the green movement. Like what, having clean air to breathe and water to drink? Like having a planet that can actually support life? Nefarious, that.

Remember the cigarette companies claiming cigarettes were perfectly safe while knowing the opposite was true? They wanted to keep making gobs of money and felt positively serene doing so, even if they were killing their customers in the process. Now THAT'S a motive.

Listen to the people who actually know what they're talking about. Ask for qualifications and credentials. Make sure they know the difference between ice cores and apple cores.

Christian Love

Leave it to the Christians to define the one true path to heaven. I'm not sure if there is zero, one, or many paths to such a place, but I'm betting Jesus would say writing and passing along garbage like that is a sure-fire way to punch your ticket to hell.